Three hours since crystalline hasn’t stopped falling from the sky.

Music on, fortissimo…

I was on my bed with the comfort of my bluish sheets and tender pillows;

I was looking through the misty windows

where I can barely see the gleam of the dusky neighborhood.

I felt not the conventional feeling of an existence not being recognized.

Again, I reached for the pills I had been taking for months already.

It helped me forget how rapid my pretentious play was

though my heart was torn into fragments

grotesquely covered with the antiquities of piled up tremors.

Taking the fourth pill,

My eyes slowly became the misty window

I had been looking at… crystals fell from it.

It was a sudden realization that even if I was in the comfort of my sheets

And of the tenderness of my pillows- I became my BLUISH sheet who haven’t felt the tenderness of solace atmosphere and amity.

I have always been my brightest star

even if the darkest clouds covers me.

I have always told myself to wake up from this dream,

but all I could ever do is to breathe, to consume a poisonous atmosphere

That fills my inner with promises- my shattered opening always reminisce.

Now- the twelfth pill….

Drown in the somnolence of a desolated picture of a throbbing life-

I became the misty neighborhood where my bare eyes

cannot fully anticipate the milieu of what it could FURTHER offer.

I became that vague emblem of a fading music.

A the precise representation of a depleting volume.

It was in that moment where my feet brought me

to a thirteenth step towards a crystal-like portrait hanging

on the wall

I saw a star-crossed woman looking desperately between two objects

as if these were her only choices.

One was a small sharp tool;

The other was a 5-meter long-thick string.

Then–

The last thing I saw was the ceiling; and

it felt like I was bathing with a flowing liquid from my wrist.

Though now-

it isn’t crystals of water at all.

          Mid-air

          Your presence caught mine.

          A very common fear

          You may already have a beloved- spot-on, fine.

          I stumble across the bookshelves

          and I frequently glance towards your direction.

          It was a well-lighted place

          Your eyes twinkle and your pinkish cheeks glisten.

          Your lips

          I wanted to touch them.

          I wanted to smell your breath

          and feel the warmth that it exudes.

          As I glance the 24^th time

          Your eyes- my eyes

          The pressure of two arrows

          Meeting as it had been shoot.

          An extreme electric distribution pierced through my veins.

                             Goodness gracious! Did she smile?

To rise or to descend the rungs of crosspieces,
between underworld crossfires and linking crossroads.
Those are the questions that crosses my mind lately,
something that’s physically and mentally perplex.
Things confining me from seeing the fruits of my labor.
No matter how arduous and toiling things be,
The betterment of the studentry should be paramount.
Efforts should be made to unleash a fruitful outcome.
I should become an outstanding student leader,
someone who promotes a civic minded studentry.

Henceforth, even with intercepting ideas with the officers,
others do not want to heed my call.
Meetings are set in a fixed date, time, and place,
when the meeting comes, not even ghosts would show a face.
Planning for an activity and programs were conducted,
yes, yes, yes, the response was a couple of yeses.
When the day of the activity comes, I’d be alone in the entire phase.
Budgetary planning was done,
now the semester is ending, the financial statement is undone.
Call for a meeting again, I’d ask, “why wouldn’t you listen?”
Can’t you help the organization’s problems lessen?
Now, is it me that’s not fit to serve or am I just too selfless?
Am I just too selfless to even kneel to you, or to even kiss your toes?
To even do most of the task because you’re unable to do them?
Even if these were too simple than what I have been doing.

Now, is it you who cannot perform or did I just expect a lot?
I propose solutions properly and we plan ahead.
Do you need more time? I’ve given that to you already.
Now, every time I encounter people who lost the passion to work for service,
I’d fall into a complete disarray.
I just want to beat them all till they say, “I yield.”
But that’s something I couldn’t do and I couldn’t express.
Even if its greater doom than a small gloom,
Gloom would be a notion to lit’ up the org.
What keeps their attention and interests to learn,
What would their motivating factors be,
That I should find out and I should track down.
I’ll give them more time and I’ll work with them
I’ll make use of the leadership seminars I have attended,
The ideologies that kept an organization bonded together like a feather in a bird’s body.
It is to change the mindset in the organization,
It is from “me” to “we,” it is “for us” to all of “us.”

Love is the alliteration of the push and pull of undetermined I love you’s.
It is an assonance of determined I’m sorry and please forgive me
Love is the parallel structure of i hate you, i don’t like you, yet i want you.
It is an allusion of the world wars
An apostrophe of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet.
A repetition of sorrow, pain, sadness, and heartaches.

Love is an anti-climax of leaving, disappearing, and not having anything.
Love is a free bird flying yet inside a cage weeping.
Love is like the rain that help things grow
But if it is too much it causes flood though.
Why is that? Because love is the exaggeration of worries that causes downfalls.

Yet love despite of the dead symphonies it is mourning
Love is the euphemism of though it hurts I’m still happy.
It is a deafening quietness; you need to put a little bit of melody like the sounding of the crickets.
Love is a metonymy; I can’t take it anymore this love is overflowing on my senses
Love is the irony of the stuttered words you wanted to explain.

But after all, love is you
Love is loving you.
It is when you are born in this world through your parents.
It is when your parents meet from the very beginning.
It is when you wake up every morning and you felt the glittering sensation of God’s blessing- that today you still live.

Love is enduring and unchanging.
You always have to endure the shaking, the trembling, the breaking.
It does not change if it sees a chance to do so
You always have to understand someone and get low.
Love is a sunshine that every time you open your eyes, you will feel the warmth of its embrace.
Love could also be a dark blue bloody sunset, whenever you long someone’s presence you badly need to see their faces, follow their traces.

Love is not just about your own happiness
It is the sacrifice of yes we are facing too much crisis but I will be with you in hard, steep, and different places.
Love is a figurative language
Giving you a heartbreaking and a sensible image

Love is like us coloring each of our canvass.
White, yellow, orange, red, blue, black
Black, blue, ref, orange, yellow, white
Love is like us coloring each of our canvass
Windy moments as it was, but it creates the dancing of the grass.

Love is the climax of two persons igniting hearts- combining, burning.
Love, love, love
The point here is that,
Love, because of love,
Life is worth living.